if i can run in heels then i can drive
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
