I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
