So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
