hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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