Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
