your room smells of hookers.
And success
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
