Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
