There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
