Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
