watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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