my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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