so explain again why im purple
no
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
