It's Friday. Sex?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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