There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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