We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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