It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
