No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize