Whoa Z and x make the same sound
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
