So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize