k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
