thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
