I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
