WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
