I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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