just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Alive.
So much puke
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
