yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
