oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
