You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
