So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
