fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
