I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize