i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize