At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize