Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize