y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
NoShamevember. You game?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize