I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
