lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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