Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
