Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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