so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
