I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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