what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
