He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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