At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So squirting runs in the family.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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