Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
