that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Randomize