after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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