wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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