okay pat passed out under dana's car
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
