Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
