walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
