If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
