Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
