Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
