the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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