there's paper in my vomit.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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