I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
