Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
