So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
