That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
