I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
