Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have fence marks all over my body
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
