new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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