Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she told me i tasted like america
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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