...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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