i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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