He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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