well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
