You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
