we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
